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When I first started on my mindset journey I thought I got it. I thought I was changing the way I thought. Clearly I was a new person now, I was done with my self- limiting beliefs and everything was going to come easy. I would be super successful in my new chosen path because I believed in myself and all was good now.
Except the truth was that as much as I read the books, recited the affirmations, and smiled at the sun saying how grateful I was for the beautiful day, my mindset was not changing in the way I thought it was.
Yes, some things about the way I thought were different. Mostly, the spark of an idea that I was meant for more than what I was doing, turned into a deep sense of needing to do more with my life. However, I still had many limiting beliefs and negative self-talk issues. I never worked on myself, I just read about how to be a more positive person. How to “be successful”.
Now, years later, after many ups and downs in the personal development and mindset arena, I can confidently say….
I still have a ton of work to do.
Limiting Belief- I don’t know enough
You may be wondering why I have a mindset blog then. Or, why I have an ebook about changing your mindset. “Rachel, if you aren’t an expert… if you’re not the best of the best…. if you don’t know it all… how can you teach others?”
Because I have been at the beginning, and now I’m not. Because there are people who are right now at the same place that I once was.
I may not be done with my journey. There may be a lot of miles left to chart on my mindset map, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a thing or two that I can help others with.
One of my biggest self- limiting beliefs that I held on to for a really long time, is that you have to be an expert in something before you can teach it. That you have to 100% be able to answer any question that may come up, and that you can’t help others if you don’t know it all.
Because of this, I always felt somewhat paralyzed. I had to research more, learn more, read more. I never felt like I knew enough to take the next step in the things I wanted to do. If I didn’t know it all I didn’t know enough.
The truth is, that in all professions and in all areas of life, there is always more to learn. Seriously. And by the way, thankfully. Because one of the things that we as humans need in order to feel fulfilled in life is growth. Without it, without the expansion of our knowledge and love and spirituality and consciousness, we would feel stuck. Always.
That means, every “expert” you know, has more they can learn. It also means, if you have spent time learning a subject or process, there are people who are now where you were and you have things you can teach them.
This was something I had to not only learn, but accept. Because one of the things about self limiting beliefs that’s super annoying, but always true? They are ingrained in us. Most likely, you will not be able to just tell yourself to stop believing something, and then magically stop being affected by it. You will need to repeat it often, and actively work on changing your belief.
In this situation that would look like actually turning around and helping others. Not just saying you can, but doing it.
It also means continuing to learn from those who have spent more time growing and learning the thing you are helping others with.
Limiting Belief- You have to have everything planned to start
This limiting belief personally related to my business. However, it is a belief that many people have about many different things. Not only do you not need to have everything planned, but it’s always beneficial to be ready for what you do have planned to go awry.
Often times we put off starting things because we think we have to have each detail planned out. Depending on what it is, we may even think we need to have back-up plans ready to go down to the smallest detail.
The problem that comes from that, is that many of us never get started then. Or we are overwhelmed with anxiety if we are forced to start and don’t have our planning done.
The truth is, that you can’t prepare for every misstep, every obstacle, or every change that may come up. We also often learn new things as we go, and we can’t account for those things before we get moving and start working on whatever it is.
Taking the first steps will always get your farther than waiting on a finished plan.
You will get farther in whatever it is you are working on, if you start and fail and start again, versus if you wait for a finished or perfect plan. I promise, no plan is ever perfect and you will start and fail and have to start again anyway.
We are currently renovating a house and jumped into it without much of a plan. This is not to say that we are just nailing cabinets to random walls or anything. We had an idea. Just not a finished plan.
If we still had this limiting belief and had waited on a completed plan to start, we might still be waiting. Instead we just picked one thing, planned it, worked on it, and moved on to the next.
If you have an idea, don’t get hung up on having a finished plan, jump into it. Most of the time what you figure out along the way works better than what you could’ve come up with anyway.
Limiting Belief- Happiness is Something You Find Outside of Yourself
For the longest time I searched (as many others do) for happiness. I looked for something that would make me happy. I thought if I just had this or could afford that, I would be happy.
Then I would get the thing, and I still wouldn’t feel happy. Which would just make me more upset.
The truth is that happiness is something inside of yourself. It is a feeling you can choose, cultivate, and grow. It doesn’t come to you because you found it somewhere out in the world. You feel it when you appreciate what you have.
I’m not just talking about the material things here.
A new relationship makes you happy because you think about the great qualities in the other person. You appreciate the time you spend with them. It’s new and exciting and you think about and appreciate the new and exciting.
When the relationship is no longer new, if you stop actively appreciating it and feeling grateful for the other person, it will no longer make you happy. It wasn’t the relationship that “made” you happy to begin with. It was the feeling of appreciation and gratitude that created the happy feeling inside.
The most important lesson I have learned in all of my years of mindset work, is that gratitude will be what creates your happiness. And, the more time you spend appreciating and being grateful for what you already have in your life, the happier your will feel.
Happiness is not something that you can buy, or find. It is something you grow inside you.
Limiting Belief- I Am The Way I Am And Always Will Be.
I’m going to get straight to the truth here, you can change anything about yourself. Including your self- limiting beliefs. In fact, you are the only person who can.
And honestly, when it comes to your self- limiting beliefs, you should. All they are doing is preventing you from being your best self, enjoying your best life and allowing yourself to feel joy and happiness.
The problem most people run into here, is that it is hard work to change these thoughts and beliefs. These are things that you have thought to be true for a long time.
The Biggest Lesson
In order to change your limiting beliefs, you need to figure out what they are, then you need to actively show yourself, your subconscious,that they aren’t true.
If you think you don’t know enough, start teaching other people and you will see that you do. You will notice that you have plenty of knowledge to share, especially to those just starting on the path you are on.
If you think you need to have everything planned out 100% before you can start a project, decide what the first step of the project will be and start it. When you are done, pick the next step and jump in. Stop allowing yourself to procrastinate because you don’t have a full plan.
If you think you need to find happiness outside of you, start looking inside. A great way to do this is by creating a gratitude routine, and to start practicing gratitude daily.
These are just a few of the common limiting beliefs I had to overcome to start to see some bigger changes in my mindset. Did any of these resonate with you? Let me know in the comments!
Make sure to check out my eBook, 10 Steps to Change Your Mindset & Your Life for more actions you can take to overcome your limiting beliefs.