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Have you every heard someone talk about a mindset journey, maybe they said they were “working on their mindset”, and been a bit intrigued? Or have you recently been thinking you need to do some of that? You find yourself with little patience or a lot of frustration, anger, or just plain negativity?
Good. We should all be on a mindset journey. A path to better ourselves by the way we think and see the world. We should always be working to be a better friend, family member, community member and most importantly, working on being better to ourselves.
As you think about starting this journey, or maybe already have, here are seven things to know.
#1 It’s a Journey
How old are you? Don’t worry I can’t hear you. (Side note, why is aging looked at as such a bad thing?) Anyway, that is how many years you have been working on getting your mindset to where it is now. So it stands to reason that it would take more than a couple weeks, or even a couple months, to create such a mindset shift that it’s noticeable.
The important thing to remember as you are spending this time and not seeing a noticeable difference, is that everything you are doing is contributing to the long-term change.
It’s the same concept as when you start going to the gym to lose weight. The first week or two, you may not see much change. It’s when you continue going for the whole month, then the following month and so on, that you start to see the real effects of your workouts.
Being on a mindset journey, for whatever reason you decided to do it, takes commitment.
#2 You have to be ready to actually do
Not only does it take commitment, it takes action.
Changing your mindset will not magically happen just from reading books or blogs. (Even this one, sorry to say.) It’s not just about quotes and memes. You have to incorporate what you are reading into your life. Not only the small stuff, but the big stuff too.
That means making changes. Changes to the way you think, to the way you react and to what you do. Nothing will change if you allow everything to stay the same. To be on a mindset journey means to take action.
#3 There’s a lot of self-reflection
Your mindset has been influenced by everything in your life up until now, and has influenced everything in your life.
So it feels almost needless to say, that you will encounter a lot of self-reflection. For example, if your first reaction to making a mistake is to call yourself an idiot, that is going to take a little self-reflection to find out where that comes from and change your reaction.
What about if your first reaction to your child making a mistake is to get angry at them? Yeah, that’s a self-reflection moment. Get ready to spend a lot of time looking at what you are doing, how you’re reacting, and why.
#4 You may lose friends
This one sucks, to be completely honest about it. The worst part is, there is nothing you can do about it. Friendships are 2-way streets and you are only one lane. You can’t be the whole thing.
There are a couple of reasons this will happen. The first is that they aren’t supportive of your journey. They don’t realize why, they may not even realize they are doing it. Usually the reason behind it is simple; you working on your mindset highlights things they believe are their short-comings. Or they are unhappy, and want you to be unhappy with them.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, misery loves company.
That doesn’t just mean people who are sad will bring you down, it also means people with poor mindsets will try to keep you down with them.
I can unfortunately say that I was once that friend. I still feel disappointed in myself that I behaved that way, but it gives me a little insight into that side of it. The friend in that position may not even realize how negative their mindset is. Because of this, they see you trying to change your mindset- which was the same as theirs to begin with- as an insult. Even more difficult, is that they don’t realize the reason they don’t like your changing is because they feel insulted. More often then not, they will blame it on you not “being true to yourself”.
On top of that, they are scared. They may subconsciously think that once you change, you will leave them. Unfortunately, their behavior is usually self-fulfilling in that if they treat you poorly or put you down as you are trying to change, you most likely will. (And should.)
The other side of it, and the other way you may lose some people from your life, is that you may very well decide to cut some people out. When your mindset changes, often there will be people that you realize just spread toxicity and negativity. Sometimes we can just cut down on interactions with these people and it’s fine. However, some people you may find are better to not have around at all. This is never an easy decision, but bettering your life for the long run is more important than appeasing others.
#5 Everyone’s journey is different
There is no one place to start and there is no “one size fits all” path to take. The only thing I can say is the same for everyone is that there is no end to a mindset journey. (Is that super encouraging, or what? Don’t worry, once you spend some time in it, you will embrace the journey.)
Some people may have a really easy time recognizing things to be grateful for but don’t have an easy time believing in themselves. Others may be starting from a place of not seeing anything to be grateful for in their own lives. Some books will resonate with some people and others may find those same books to not be helpful at all.
While you can take suggestions and tips from other people’s journeys, don’t allow yourself to get discouraged if those suggestions don’t work the same for you as for them. The mindset place you are currently in can make all the difference in how you process information.
#6 It can be life-changing
For this one I’m going to speak about myself. Ten years ago I was in a massively different place than I am now. A lot has changed and depending on how you look at it, you could say it was all due to my mindset.
I am now married to someone I didn’t know back then and have 2 children. Ten years ago if you had told me this would be my life now, I would’ve said you were crazy. I didn’t want either of those things then and thought that would be true always.
Aside from those things, I was lost and quickly headed for what would be my mindset rock-bottom.
From there, I started my mindset journey and it changed my whole life.
Most importantly, it changed how I feel about myself, how I treat myself, and how I see the world.
It is not that I went from negative to positive, although I would say I’m much more positive now, but life went from impossible to possible. Changing your mindset can be like if you found out the farm in Kansas was actually Oz, you had just never seen the color before.
This, of course, is different for everyone. I had a big mountain to climb to even get to where I am now. Some maybe only have a hill. The difference is where you start, and where you want to go.
#7 A mindset journey is worth everything you give it
I don’t have a lot to add to this, except that I have never heard someone regret investing time in their mindset journey. I have only heard people wish they had started sooner.
If you are ready to get started on your mindset journey but don’t know where to start, hop on my list for regular tips and insights! It also gets you access to the Resource Room, full of free printables and other resources.
If you’ve already started your mindset journey and want specific steps to help yourself along, check out the eBook 10 Steps to Change Your Mindset and Improve Your Life